News From The FBC

[thunda]

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece back again with the latest Federation news.




Breaking News: Federation Weapons Development Base on maximum security alert.




File: Weapon

This is a delicate one, information has been listed as Highly Classified. But don’t worry, old trooper P (what my mates call me) might not have a high security clearance but he does have a bunch of ‘boots on the ground’ (some trooper jargon) as friends. Here’s the scoop; Supreme Commander Servalan and former Space Commander Travis met with Clonemaster Fen where they ■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■. While at the base it turns out that technician Coser had ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and then Blake and his rat pack ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ but Servalan had ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ So in the end Blake and ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ While Travis and Servalan ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ And we can add three more troopers to Blake’s bodycount. My condolences to their next of kin.

(Unfortunately certain parts of my report may be edited so only those with double A security clearance or better can view it)



This has been trooper Pouthmiece.
From strength to unity.

[thunda]

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece back again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Blake reported on planet Horizon.




File: Horizon

Early transmissions indicated that Blake and several members of his crew of criminals were captured on Horizon but within twenty four hours all communications with the planet ceased. Knowing Blake’s history the logical conclusion is that he somehow convinced the natives to rebel and kill all the Federation personnel. Before I state the ramifications allow me to give a brief history of our relationship with Horizon.

Horizon, formerly Silmareno, is one of only two planets in the galaxy that has monopasium-239, an necessary element for our hyper-space drive engines. Hyper-space engines will allow us to explore other galaxies (to boldly go where no man has gone before) or to simply reach faraway destinations faster bringing food, medicine, and supplies. When it was discovered that Horizon had monopasium-239 we offered a deal to the indigenous people of the planet; In exchange for the element they had no idea was even there we would give them education, teach them science, technology, medical achievements, agricultural knowledge, basically we would welcome them to the Federation family. A win - win situation. Then Blake shows up. In one day he managed to turn our trusted (we’re not allowed to use the term “colony” so let’s say) partner against us. Now we have no choice but to retaliate.

Don’t believe Blake’s propaganda machine about 10% fatalities, inhumane working conditions, slavery, blah, blah, blah, we’re not the ones who put the “primitives” in the mines. We offered to bring in high tech equipment but they went on and on about tradition and heritage and customs. We’re not the bad guys here. Blake convinces a race that dresses in leaves and uses blow-darts for weapons to declare war on the most powerful force in the galaxy. And then he leaves.Congratulations Blake, you just doomed an entire race.





On a happier note, I’ve been getting tons of fan mail mainly asking two things;
1) can you have guests?
2) how about an opposing viewpoint?

Well, next time you’ll get both!:D





This has been trooper Pouthmiece.
From strength to unity.

[thunda]

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece back again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Terrorists stage unsuccessful attack on Control




File: Pressure Point

Blake and his miscreants formed an alliance with disgraced former Federation officer Kasabi and launched a full scale attack on Control. Fortunately the Federation nerve center is the most protected facility in the galaxy and the attack was repelled with scores of rebels killed including one of Blake’s followers, “Mad dog” Gan. Blake managed to escape but the infamous Kasabi was captured. It has been reported that Space Commander Travis and Supreme Commander Servalan were both involved in the battle.



Now as promised I have a very special guest. Daughter of former Federation senior political officer Kasabi, Veron.




TROOPER POUTHMIECE So Veron, what’s it like being a former terrorist?

VERON They killed her. They killed my mother.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE Yes, I heard your mother died trying to escape custody after you turned her in but if it’s any consolation she was a traitor.

VERON They killed her. They killed my mother.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE After Blake’s failed attempt on Control he left you behind, didn’t he?

VERON They killed her. They killed my mother.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE I hear you have been recommended for a civilian citation.

VERON They killed her. They killed my mother.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE Must be rough living outside the dome. Polluted air, unsanitary conditions, impure water, diseases, to say the least. I could see how that could have an effect on someone’s mind.

VERON They killed her. They killed my mother.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE Well, I’m afraid that’s all the time we have. Thank you for appearing and congratulations on seeing the light. These nice troopers will escort you back to the hospital, Veron.



Note: If you kids notice anyone saying or doing something against the Federation, even if it’s your parents, immediately notify a trooper or call the special hotline FED - 4EVER. It’s toll free. Remember, it’s not just the right thing to do, it’s the law.



Note: Each time you turn someone in you receive points. Build up enough points and you can win one of these lifelike Trooper Pouthmiece miniatures.




This has been trooper Pouthmiece.
From strength to unity.

[thunda]

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece back again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Space Commander Travis on trial




File: Trial

I don’t like to air dirty laundry in public but the Federation is all about transparency (can Blake and his rebels say the same?). Commander Travis faced a court martial for an incident that occurred several years ago on the planet Serkasta (or was it Auros?). Travis ordered the execution of one thousand four hundred and seventeen unarmed civilians. As a trooper I’m actually on the fence with this one. No one in the Federation Armed Forces wants to disregard the ‘rules of engagement’ but when you see your buddies lying dead on the ground next to you and the ones who did it in front of you... well, let’s say when you’re ordered to fire it becomes easier to pull the trigger. Besides, “Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die.” Makes me glad I’m not an officer. Travis, was found guilty and sentenced to death (can’t really get away with..I mean justify killing that many civilians). We look after ourselves.


News update ; Federation space station caught in meteor storm

At the end of Travis’ trial the space station was struck by a meteor storm resulting in the deaths of several key Federation personnel such as Fleet Warden General (Star Killer) Samor, Senator Bercol, Secretary Rontane, and Major Thania (Travis defense lawyer). Damage was substantial and many are listed as missing including ex-Space Commander Travis.

On the Blake watch, after the failed attack on Control, the Liberator was tracked to an uncharted planet. Preliminary readings indicated the world is alive (surprised Blake didn’t kill it).

Since fan reaction to my surprise guest last week was overwhelmingly positive (keep those letters and emails coming) I’m going to try to do it again real soon.


This has been trooper Pouthmiece.

[thunda]

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece back again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Plague warning issued for planet Fosforon




File: Killer

We received a message from our Q-base on Fosforon that Blake and his cohorts were there but by the time we arrived everyone at the base was dead from some type of virus. And naturally Blake and his crew were gone. You don’t have to be an Alpha grade to add two plus two, but let’s say I give Blake the benefit of the doubt that he had nothing to do with that virus. The fact is that Blake is causing the Federation to waste time, manpower, millions of credits chasing him and diverting resources that could be better used elsewhere. If we could have gotten to Fosforon sooner our doctors would have had a chance to create a vaccine and save those poor souls. But since we’re spread out so thin trying to protect innocents from Blake we were unable to anything other than sanitize the planet (in other words we nuked it).

All you rebel sympathizers out there (you know who you are) must know the truth; he can’t win. You know he can’t win.





This has been trooper Pouthmiece.
From strength to unity.

[thunda]

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece back again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Liberator nearly destroyed by Federation pursuit ships


Well, it was just a matter of time until Blake’s luck ran out and Federation technology proved superior. Reports say the Liberator was damaged irrevocably but managed to survive. Most likely they want the crew taken alive so they can receive a fair trial (preceding their execution).


Update: Liberator spotted near planet Exbar.



File: Hostage

When Blake goes near a planet you always check for bodies and sure enough several were found on the planet’s surface and the remains (if you can call it that) in the planet’s surface.

Special Update: Ex-CommanderTravis reported alive and on Exbar

Okay, I’m speculating here but I believe Blake somehow saved Travis and is holding him hostage in an attempt to brainwash him into turning to the dark side. Blake’s cousin also somehow got involved in what appears to be a love triangle with Jenna “cutthroat” Stannis. That’s some freaky crew.










This has been a disgusted trooper Pouthmiece.

[thunda]

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece back again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Albian government overthrown by rebels








Today I have a special show today with a very special guest from the other side. Soldier of fortune, mercenary, rebel sympathizer, and constant pain in the Federation’s arse, Del Grant.

Mr. Grant has been guaranteed safe passage and we’ve both agreed to leave our firearms outside the building.



File: Countdown





TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Welcome Del, it’s been a long time.

DEL GRANT: Too long, T.P.. Haven’t seen you since Arcos. I still have the scars to remind me.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: So do I. If I had aimed a little higher you wouldn’t be on this show today.

DEL GRANT: And if I had more ammo you wouldn’t have a show.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: (Bloody pompous son of a ..)Yes, well, on to business. It appears you’ve been quite busy these past months.

DEL GRANT: Doing my best to put you guys out of business.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: I see. Reports state planet Albian has a change of leadership. I hear you had a hand in that.

DEL GRANT: Yes, and quite proud of it. I organized and co-led a full scale revolution and after a pitched battle we triumphed allowing the planet to declare independence.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Less than a hundred.

DEL GRANT: Pardon?



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: There were less than One hundred Federation personnel stationed on that planet, and that included clerks, secretaries, maintenance, technicians. I wouldn’t call that a pitched battle. Not even a fair fight.

DEL GRANT: I didn’t stop to count heads.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: (Smug b*****d) You’re originally from Earth, aren’t you?

DEL GRANT: Yes, I am.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Yet you make a habit of taking worlds colonized by earthlings and turning them over to aliens.

DEL GRANT: I don’t see it that way. I look at it as restoring a world to its people.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Oh, so you’ve actually spoken to the people on every planet that you’ve been paid to destabilize and thereby jeopardizing the security of Earth.

DEL GRANT: I wouldn’t pass judgement, Pouthmiece, considering your Federation put a device on Albian capable of killing every single person on the planet.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: About that. According to the chatter on the rebel propaganda intranet you and one of Blake’s thugs, Kerr Avon saved the planet from some sort of doomsday device.

DEL GRANT: Yes. That’s correct. Avon and I managed to ---



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: We’ll get back to that. Word on the street was that there was bad blood between you and Kerr Avon.

DEL GRANT: That’s personal.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Witnesses say you promised to kill Kerr Avon if you ever laid eyes upon him again.

DEL GRANT: I said it’s personal.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Fair enough. Now, back to how you saved the planet.

DEL GRANT: After realizing defeat was inevitable your precious Federation activated the timer on a solium radiation device. A bomb capable of producing enough high level radiation fall out to annihilate the entire population. Avon and I managed to disarm the detonator by inserting rods into the slots. We saved the Albians.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: A bomb capable of destroying an entire planet and you and your worst enemy disarm it with a few rods. Do you honestly expect anyone to believe that bloody rubbish?

DEL GRANT: I don’t give a damn what you---



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Your sister was Ana Grant, wasn’t she?

DEL GRANT: She died in one of your damn Federation torture cells.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: You never saw the body, though, did you?

DEL GRANT: No, I... what are you getting at, Pouthmiece?



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: I’m afraid that’s all we have time for today. And, Grant, just let me add I think you’re a traitorous, money-grubbing, lowlife, terrorist

DEL GRANT: And I think you’re an authoritarian, brutish, jackboot, lapdog.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: A pleasure having you, Del. Hope to see you again soon ( preferably at the business end of plasma rifle).

DEL GRANT: The pleasure was mine, T.P.










This has been trooper Pouthmiece with a special FBC show.
From strength to unity.

[thunda]

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece back again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Governor Le Grand assassinated.





File: Voice from the Past


Don’t know what to make of this steaming pile of.. (watch it, P, kids are reading this). Okay, we’ve got Governor Le Grand, Arbiter General Ven Glynd, Blake, Servalan, oh, yes, and Travis also, on the planet Atlay and then a bunch of dead bodies. Based on my sources it appears rebels launched a terrorist attack on the annual meeting of the Federation Governors. They were thwarted by Federation special forces who eliminated all the terrorists but unfortunately there were casualties including Governor Le Grand and Arbiter General Ven Glynd (deepest sympathies). No Federation troopers were killed or injured (thank goodness for that). It’s believed Blake engineered the attack. Witnesses claim ex-Space Commander Travis was spotted on the scene but there has not been confirmation.









This has been trooper Pouthmiece.
From strength to unity.

[thunda]

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece back again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Travis sighted at Freedom City

Although stripped of his rank and wanted by the military police, it’s believed Travis is pursuing Blake in an attempt to complete his final mission.



Official Directive: All information regarding and including the phrase “Star One” are considered classified and is to be deleted.


Don’t fall for rebel fake news. Control is safely located on Earth.





File: Gambit

My sources told me Blake and his brigands touched down at Freedom City and immediately embarked on a rampage of lewdness, fighting, drunken debauchery, disorderly conduct, inflicting substantial damage on public and private property, and fleecing the local establishments out of millions of credits. All in one hour. Body count was relatively low considering this is Blake we’re talking about.

Freedom City is still legally neutral and out of our sphere of protection, however they are near the top of the Federation’s ‘to do list’ (just waiting for a good reason to annex it, any reason, actually).








This has been trooper Pouthmiece.
From strength to unity.

[thunda]

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.
.





Official Directive: All information regarding and including the phrase “Star One” is considered classified and is to be deleted.


Alert: Don’t fall for fake news generated by anti-Federation rebels. Control is safely located on Earth.




Breaking News: Former Space Commander Travis sighted on planet Goth.


It’s believed that Travis is hunting Roj Blake in an effort to complete his only unsuccessful mission (bringing Blake to justice may not absolve him of the one thousand four hundred and seventeen civilian lives he took but it’s a good start to balancing the scales).



File: The Keeper

Although considered friendly, Goth is not part of the Federation (meaning they have absolutely nothing useful to offer) so information is sketchy but reports indicate that Blake and his hoodlums landed on the peaceful planet and immediately stuck their noses in its business. Though they were welcomed by the population, Jenna seduced, then later poisoned the reigning king while Blake and Vila led a revolt against the rightful government in an attempt to take control of the planet. Being an archaic civilization their warriors were no match for alien weaponry and were slaughtered mercilessly. Fortunately, Travis managed to call in pursuit ships (once Federation, always Federation) and after a fierce battle they successfully drove Blake’s ship the Liberator away from the planet and out of the system. Unfortunately Goth was left destabilized and in total chaos.





This has been trooper Pouthmiece.
From strength to unity.

[thunda]

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming to Bring You This Very Important Public Service Announcement;




Attention: Due to irregular sunspots affecting navigational satellites and electrical systems all off Earth trips are experiencing delays. We thank you for your patience.



This has been a notice from the Federation Emergency Broadcast System.

From strength to unity.

[thunda]

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming to Bring You This Very Important Public Service Announcement;


Update: Due to irregular sunspots affecting navigational satellites and electrical systems all off Earth trips have been cancelled. We thank you for your patience.

Attention All Federation planets: Due to cosmic phenomenon affecting computer control certain planets may be experiencing drastic changes in climate conditions. All inter-planetary travel is cancelled. Citizens are urged to seek shelter and follow instructions of Federation personnel.

Military craft are on Yellow - 3 alert.

This has been a notice from the Federation Emergency Broadcast System.

From strength to unity.

[thunda]

ALERT: WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING TO BRING YOU THIS VERY IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. AS OF 0700 HOURS, EARTH STANDARD TIME, ALL FEDERATION PLANETS AND TERRITORIES ARE UNDER MARTIAL LAW.

REPEAT: AS OF 0700 HOURS, EARTH STANDARD TIME, ALL FEDERATION PLANETS AND TERRITORIES ARE UNDER MARTIAL LAW. PLEASE FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS OF LOCAL FEDERATION AUTHORITIES. THIS MESSAGE WILL BE REPEATED THROUGHOUT THE DAY. STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER UPDATES.

THIS HAS BEEN A NOTICE FROM THE FEDERATION EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM.




From strength to unity.








File: Star One
Status; Open



Your attention. All Federation territories are under Martial law including this forum. For those expecting trooper Pouthmiece I’ve been ordered to inform you that Trooper Pouthmiece and others have been taken for questioning to determine where their loyalties lie. I’m section leader Klegg and as ordered I will be assuming command of this thread for the duration. The President and members of the Council have been detained and placed under military protection during this emergency. All Federation citizens are to follow instructions of Federation personnel. You will stand by for further orders.





By Servalan’s command

[thunda]

ALERT: WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING TO BRING YOU THIS VERY IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. ALIEN SPACECRAFT HAVE BEEN REPORTED IN FEDERATION SPACE. RED ONE MOBILIZATION IS INITIATED.

REPEAT: ALIEN SPACECRAFT HAVE BEEN REPORTED IN FEDERATION SPACE. RED ONE MOBILIZATION IS INITIATED. THIS MESSAGE WILL BE REPEATED THROUGHOUT THE DAY. STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER UPDATES.

THIS HAS BEEN A NOTICE FROM THE FEDERATION EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM.




From strength to unity.









File: Star One
Status; Open


Your attention. We are at Red One mobilization. All Federation reserves report to your designated assignments. All Federation citizens between the ages of twenty one and thirty one report to the nearest Federation recruitment center. Everyone reading this thread is to standby for further orders. Aliens from the Andromeda galaxy have trespassed into Federation space which means as of now...we are at war.


Section Leader Klegg, out.




.

By Servalan’s command

[thunda]

File: Star One
Status; Open


Your attention. Red One mobilization is still in effect. All Federation reserves and recent retirees are to report to their designated assignments. All Federation citizens between the ages of eighteen and thirty five are to report to the nearest Federation recruitment center. Just so we’re clear, this thread is still under Martial law, meaning technically everyone reading it is under Federation jurisdiction and obligated to follow the above orders. The sooner you comply the sooner I can rejoin my unit and get in on the action. On the war front, the battle is going well. Federation forces have engaged the enemy fleet and inflicted heavy loses with only minimal casualties. Reports establish that Blake and the Liberator sabotaged our galactic defense grid and are leading the alien armada. More reports to follow.




Section Leader Klegg, out.




.

By Servalan’s command