Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece back again with the latest Federation news.
File:
Death-Watch
Breaking News; Vandor Confederacy and United Planets of Teal at war.
That means the Teal-Vandor Convention is taking place and for those of you who don’t remember it used to be the number one viscast show on Earth (the most fun you can have with your clothes on anywhere in the galaxy). Basically two combatants, one from each side, fight to the death on a battleground simulated from different planets, cultures and times chosen by a combat computer (Not the way I think wars should be fought but to each their own). All taking place in days filled with festivities! I’d be down there myself if I didn’t have to do this show (just kidding),but since I’m here I’ve got my snacks and drinks on hand. Better get yours too. For those of you who don’t have access to the Teal-Vandor network I’m going to live stream the show for you (actually, for legal reasons I can only give you a play by play ).
Okay, the combatants are arriving at the space port, we’re about to get a glimpse of them. Oh, damn. Camera didn’t get a clear shot. Have to wait until they present their credentials to the arbiter. Let’s go to a commercial.
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We’re back and we can see the three arbiters; one from each faction and the third...well, this is a surprise, it’s President Servalan (she’ll make sure it’s fair). Now for the champions; Deeta Tarrant representing Teal (he looks strangely familiar and where have I heard that name?) and Vinni representing Vandor (almost had an altercation before the match). Now we, and the combatants, wait as the combat computer picks a battleground.
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They’re almost ready. Think I’ll go with Deeta Tarrant (where have I heard that name?) He seems more professional. Wish I had a sensor disk to experience it. Here we go, both contestants stalking each other, trading shots. Vinni challenges Tarrant to a face to face draw. Tarrant accepts.
Bloody hell that was fast, looks like Vinni wins (and I lost two hundred credits).
Show her that you care, give her a Feldon crystal. Agravo mining Co.
It’s all over now except for the formality of the examination...wait.. news reports that Dayna Mellanby has taken President Servalan hostage and Del Tarrant has issued a challenge to Vinni (that’s where I heard the name) good thing we have a battle fleet nearby doing maneuvers and I’ve still got some snacks left.
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Here we go again, both men waiting for the combat computer to pick a battleground. Looks like the observation gallery of a deep spce liner. Tarrant comes out first, takes cover. Now Vinni comes out, walks across the catwalk, holsters his gun (man, is he confident or what? This time I’m going with Vinni). Uh oh, Tarrant’s behind him, calls his name (come on Vinni), and it’s over. Vinni got vaporized (and I lost another two hundred credits)
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Apparently the Teal representative issued a protest about Vinni not completing the medical examination so on a technicality the first match has to be redone. With two new champions of course (but I’m still out four hundred credits). Don’t worry, I’ll be covering it.
Ask Trooper Pouthmiece:
This week’s question is from Dela of Vilka. Dela wants to know what the Federation Command satellite is named. We have several and they’re called FEDSTATs.
This has been trooper Pouthmiece.
From strength to unity.
