Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest news from the FBC. Fair and unbalanced.
Hello everyone. T.P. here live on the planet Khom continuing our ongoing live reporting. Today’s guest is the ruler of Khom, King Chalsa.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Good day, King Chalsa. Thank you for taking the time for this interview.
Chalsa: President Chalsa.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Well good day, President Chalsa. Thank you for taking the time for this interview.
Chalsa: I have heard of your show trooper Pouthmiece, but I’ve never seen any of your broadcasts, my planet is beyond reception range.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Well I have good news, President Chalsa, at the rate the Federation is expanding your planet will be able to receive our broadcasts in the very near future.
Chalsa: That’s... excellent. So, Trooper Pouthmiece, what brings you all the way out to Khom.?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: We’re doing a series of shows on popular warlords and your name was near the top of the list.
Chalsa: I’m sorry you came such a long way for nothing, but as I said I’m a president not a warlord.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: There’s a thin line between president and warlord sir, and you do seem to associate with them.
Chalsa: What is that supposed to mean?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Can you tell us about the meeting of the border system leaders that took place recently?
Chalsa:Meeting? I’m not aware of any meeting.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: The meeting you suggested, sir. Lod and Boova already placed you there.
Chalsa: Ah, yes. I do seem to recall a minor meeting. Nothing special.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: And there were Federation rebels in attendance?
Chalsa: I don’t recall any.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: I’d like to point out that lying to a Federation trooper is a major offense.
Chalsa: Excuse me, but in what capacity are you here, trooper Pouthmiece? Is this an official visit?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Mr. President, if this were an official visit you would know it.
Chalsa: Is that some sort of threat?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Just conducting an interview sir.
Chalsa: You would do well to remember you’re a guest on my planet.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: With respect sir, it’s your planet but it’s our galaxy.
Chalsa: And was that a threat?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: I’m just a trooper sir, I don’t make threats, I just carry them out.
Chalsa: We have a saying on Khom, ‘words are no more than ... words.’
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: And we have a saying in the corp, ‘some days are better than others.’
Chalsa: I don’t understand what that...
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Excuse me, Mr. President, I’m getting a message from my producer.
Breaking News: Zukan declared missing, Search ensuing.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: The Betafarlians are sending out search vessels and I’m sure the Federation will send some warships to assist. We’ll have more on that story as it unfolds.
Chalsa: Did you say warships?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: We don’t really have search vessels.
Chalsa: That was a threat. I’m sure of it.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: I’m sorry sir, we have an update.
Breaking news: Debris believed to be Zukon’s ship found. Mission changed from rescue to recovery.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: That’s not good news. Fortunately the Federation is close enough to render assistance.
Chalsa: Close? How close?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: About that meeting sir?
Chalsa: All right. All right, I admit I suggested the conference of the non-aligned planets, but I only did it so I could demand compensation for the crafts we have lost to Zukan's war fleet. He refused, and I was going to hand him his <censored> but Mida and the others held me back. I would have...
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: We’re getting more breaking news.
Breaking news: Remains of Zukon and aide found. Foul play suspected.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Well, now it’s a murder investigation. Looks like I’ve got a homicide to solve.
Chalsa: Zukan is dead?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Yes, apparently his ship exploded. Most likely a bomb was planted.
Any thoughts, Mr. President?
Chalsa: Why would you ask me that?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: I’m sure you understand what this means.
Chalsa: No, I don’t think..
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Well, who has the most to gain? I would think suspicion falls on someone from that meeting. Which means you’re either a suspect or you’re next.
Chalsa: Good god, you’re saying my life is in danger?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. I mean you do trust the people at that meeting. Don’t you?
Chalsa: There is no history of trust between us.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Who else was at the meeting, sir?
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Sir I’d like to remind you that since Betafarl signed a pact with the Federation that makes this an official Federation murder investigation.
Chalsa: Mida, Lod, Boova, Zukan,
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: And?
Chalsa: Avon, and some of his renegades.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Receiving some additional information on our top story.
Breaking news: Zukon’s daughter unavailable for comment.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Curiouser and curiouser.
Chalsa: What does that...
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Betafarl’s ruler makes a pact with the Federation, attends a meeting with the leaders of the border systems which you sponsored, now he’s dead and his heir is missing. Seems like too much to be a coincidence. Wouldn’t you agree, sir?
Chalsa: Surely you’re not suggesting I had anything to do with that
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Just asking questions, sir. You did say you had a prior disagreement with him earlier. It comes down to who had the most to gain... or fear.
Chalsa: I think that’s all the time I have for today.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: I understand, sir. If you would feel more comfortable speaking with a Federation Investigator?
Chalsa: Um, I suppose I could spare a few more minutes.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Sir, did you supply the ship used for the meeting?
Chalsa: Well, yes I did, but...
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: That would make you an accessory to sedition, sir.
Chalsa: I supplied the ship, I admit, but Mida did the piloting. I was blindfolded, merely a passenger. In fact it was Mida who Avon contacted. And Mida had the most to fear from Zukan. His planet is closest to Betafarl.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Mida?
Chalsa: Yes, Mida. Ruler of Lovis.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: With Betafari’s ruler dead and his heir missing the planet may fall into chaos. Fortunately there are Federation troopers on Zondor that can be dispatched to Betafarl immediately. To maintain order,
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Thank you for what turned out to be a productive interview, President Chalsa.
Chalsa: Please leave.
TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Next stop, Lovis!
The FBC would like to express our deepest sympathy to the family of Zukan and the citizens of Betafarl. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
This has been trooper Pouthmiece.
From strength to unity.