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Re: News From The FBC

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2021 3:06 am
by thunda
Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest news from the FBC. Fair and unbalanced.

File: Warlord

Good day, everyone. T.P. here on the planet Lovis continuing our ongoing live reporting segments. Today’s guest is the ruler of Lovis, President Mida.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Greetings sir, I’d like to...
Mida: Xenon.

Mida: The meeting was at Xenon base on the planet Xenon.

TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Well, that was a bit unexpected.
Mida: I watch your show. I’ll have the exact coordinates sent to your pilot, you don’t want to deal with the indigenous people. Nasty bunch.

TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Thank you, President Mida. I guess this will be a short show. Next stop, Lovis.
Mida: And it’s General Mida.

This has been trooper Pouthmiece. :trooper:
From strength to unity.

Re: News From The FBC

Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2021 1:06 am
by thunda
We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming to Bring You These Very Important Public Service Announcements;

“A CRA (Civilian Rescue Alert) is in effect for the Betafarlian commercial freighter Lodestar and its crew of eleven. Any information on its whereabouts should be given to the Betafarl authorities.”
- This has been a public service announcement from the Terran Federation

"You are cared for. You are loved. You are cared for. You are loved. You are cared for. You are loved. You are cared for. You are loved."
- This has been a public service announcement from the Terran Federation

We now join the Trooper Pouthmiece show. Already in progress.

...footing and be careful, this whole thing could collapse at any time. What? Please repeat. We’re on? Right. Good day everyone, Pouthmiece here, live on the planet Xenon. I’ll catch you up on what has transpired; For the last few hours we’ve been here digging into rubble of what we believe was Avon’s base. We’ve made substantial progress and I’m currently crawling through a passage we made. This is a huge risk we’re taking, it’s not too stable, but I think we can... wait.. Is that? Masks, everyone. Activate your masks....

“When you want to say ‘I love you’ to that special person, say it with an authentic Kairopan crystal.”
- Brought to you by Kairos Jewelers

“More people in more places trust FBC News than any other news source”

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest news from the FBC. Fair and unbalanced.

File: Warlord

Breaking News; Zeeona, daughter of Zukan declared missing.

Are we back on? Pouthmiece here again. We’re outside now. Our sensors detected traces of Paraflame Five, a coolant, but extremely lethal so we had to evacuate to a safe distance. We are going to put on rescue suits and have another go. For those of you just joining us I’ll do a quick recap; we’re following up on information obtained from President Mida... what? Oh, right, General Mida. I’ve got a few extra squads I requested just in case we got lucky but it looks like we’re too... just a minute. All set? Okay, we’re going back in.

“Freedom City. home of the largest casino in the Quadrant. Eat, drink, dance, gamble, or take your chance at the Big Wheel. No stake limits. Or if you’re brave enough, try speed chess. The only game of skill in this establishment. The Klute challenges all comers. A win or a draw gets you a million -- one million credits, _mes amis_. Win or draw against the Klute. The biggest prize in the galaxy. Now come on, all you space trekkers. Put your life on the line and beat the Klute at speed chess. Win a fortune!”

...... sure if the video transmission is being broadcast...... be some type of interference...... to what’s left of a communications center...... everything is destroyed. Based on experience..... explosives were...... debris to get through but we’re making..... radiation readings... suits should protect us (at least that’s what my producer says) so we’re pressing on...... Making our way into a freight bay...... get some lights...... Bloody hell...... the camera off...... to a commercial...

“Here at the Robot Development Cartel we don’t just build robots, we build the future. Make sure the next device you buy says RDC on it.”

“Everyone’s a fruit and nutcase
I find it very healthy for my ego
It makes one feel more vital as if one had a title
lots more fun than plumbing or a saxophone recital

Everyone's a fruit and nutcase
for bathing and ballooning
it’s essential
for any recreation
what a combination
Cadbury's...fruit...and...nut!! ”

- Cadbury’s. Produced on the planet Destiny

... steady lad, deep breaths, in and out, in an out. You’re going to be fine, mate. We’re back on? Pouthmiece here again, back outside. I was just consoling one of the newer members of our team. He’s never seen anything like what we just saw and to be honest, neither have I. Bodies, everywhere, or what’s left of them, in what appeared to be a bio weapons laboratory. As a trooper I’ve seen my share of destruction and carnage but nothing like this. It’s all I can do to hold my lunch down. Preliminary report says they were killed by some kind of radioactive airborne virus, but the hazmat team is still in there doing tests. Some of the crew think the remains are Avon and his cohorts (we should be so lucky) but my gut tells me otherwise.

“The new season of The Teal-Vandor Convention starts soon.”
- Tickets still available

“Fail. Learn. Win. Become a Trooper.”

Getting a message from my producer. Yes. Please confirm. DNA results are in and as I suspected we have some bad news for the Betafarlians. You don’t have to be a puppeteer to sort out what happened. My trooper instinct tells me Zeoona got kidnaped by a terror cell trying to overthrow Zulkan but it didn’t turn out like they planned. More blood on Avon’s hands.

“Planning for retirement? If so then your portfolio should include gold investments. But not just any gold, Zerok gold.”

Breaking News; Remains of Zukon’s daughter found on Xenon. All Points Bulletin issued for Del Tarrant

“Pick a pleasure, any pleasure.
And you'll find it for sale in Space City.”
- Open all year round

“Federation Troopers. It’s a state of mind.”

Although the explosion destroyed any evidence we could use to discover where they escaped to I
called in some favors from some buddies of mine out here in the border systems and asked if long range surveillance picked up any ships leaving this system recently. Turns out one left a few days ago and they gave me its trajectory. For security reasons I can’t divulge everything but I can promise you one thing, my next show will be special. Next stop, Gauda Prime.

This has been trooper Pouthmiece. :trooper:
From strength to unity.

Re: News From The FBC

Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2021 3:40 am
by thunda
Empire Shall Speak Peace Unto Empire


File: Blake

Citizens. I know you were expecting trooper Pouthmiece but I’m afraid I’m to be the bearer of bad news. Trooper Pouthmiece is deceased. Yes, you heard that correctly. Approximately seventy two hours ago, Pouthmiece took part in a secret operation that had been in the planning for months. It was long speculated that Gauda Prime was home to a nest of rebels so at the request of and in coordination with the Gauda Prime authorities, a strike force was sent to the planet. Although given ample opportunity to surrender the insurgents instead chose violence.

Despite being heavily outnumbered Federation forces managed to achieve victory over the insurrectionists but not without cost. There were substantial losses, Pouthmiece being among them. Rest assured, those that committed this heinous act have been brought to justice swiftly and decisively. The rebels have either been killed or captured. Any that survive will receive a fair and speedy trial ahead of their execution. Their families will rot in a slave pit on Ursa Prime.

Every cloud has a silver lining, reports are still coming in but it’s been confirmed that the fugitive Kerr Avon and his cohorts were identified as among the casualties. I’m sure Pouthmiece would have liked that. You may be wondering if Trooper Pouthmiece had any family. The answer is yes, over 100 million brothers and sisters. Space Command was his family and we shall mourn his loss. Yet shed no tears, because Pouthmiece died doing the two things he loved most, being a trooper and bringing you the news. Rather than continue this show with a different host we thought it appropriate that the series end. All previous episodes will continue to be broadcast completely uncut.

Roj Blake, Kerr Avon, Jenna Stannis, Olag Gan, Vila Restal, Cally, Dayna Mellanby, Del Tarrant, Soolin, for all those who idolized and emulated them, let this serve as a lesson. You see, it’s the great illusion. You can’t win. You know you can’t win.

Send all cards and flowers to the FBC c/o Space Command


On a more positive note, Gauda Prime’s application has been approved and will be formally admitted to the Federation.

This has been Federation Security Commissioner Sleer. :servalan:
From strength, as we say, to unity.