Players reluctantly present
CITY AT THE EDGE
OF THE FIRTH OF FORTH
filmed in our
not a million miles from the home
of the inspirational Emma Peel
...well, maybe fifty miles
Bullyboy Tarrant throws his
weight around, and Vila is terrified.
"Why can't he pick on someone his own size?"
"I don't know why you're whining, Vila," says Avon. "Tarrant's
asking you to go down alone and unarmed to a totally unknown planet
carry out an unexplained mission for some complete strangers (who
not be homicidal maniacs) in exchange for a tin of McGuffins Biscuits.
Given that we're down to our last Jammie Dodger, I can't think why
hesitate. Unless you'd like to try my baking again..."
"No thanks, I'd sink without trace!"
Vila meets the funny-looking locals, who might not be homicidal
"I think you've got me confused with someone else.
It's Michael Keating who likes long countryside walks."
"Crumbs!" gasps Cally. "That tin of biscuits we swapped
Vila for has exploded!"
Maybe there is a homicidal maniac around after all...
Yes there is, Vila's just met one. Her name's Kerril.
"What was that about mouthwash, you little squirt!"
Kerril introduces Vila to "Babe" Bayban, the most homicidal
the galaxy, his funny-looking sidekick Sherm and a Mystical Old
A totally gratuitous close-up of Sherm's Tshirt.
Bayban explains Vila's mission to break into the sweetshop in between
prattling about his wonderfully supportive mum.
"My concealed razor-sharp intellect tells me this is a door,"
Vila. "And Bayban's crackers. Or is he nuts?"
Meanwhile, Kerril has discovered that the ancient abandoned city
fully functioning sauna/beauty salon/top boutique/botanical garden.
"Could it be a booby trap?" wonders Vila.
"Won't the door open if you turn that knob?" asks Kerril.
"Sh! You'll put me out of business!" hisses Vila. "But
it's funny you
should mention knobs..."
To Part Two!